Time

Time seems to be my enemy and my saving grace right now. It's odd. 

In one hand, time needs to slow way down.  Our boy is a little boy now, no longer a baby.  That became more evident to us in his latest pictures.   We are missing precious time.  Taylor is less than 2 months away from graduating high school.   Raegan is finishing her last weeks of middle school.   I want to freeze time.  

Then I want to speed it up.  I want to be at the end of this wait.  The faster time goes, the closer we are to him.  On Fridays I find myself saying "Yes!  Another week down!"   I want to get our boy and bring him home.   And more than likely we still have a pretty good wait ahead of us.  

I'm beginning to really struggle.  It seems to worsen daily.  The desire to have my family together is to the point where I find myself crying whenever I am alone.   I need to get my mind right.  I need to settle back in to where I was a few months ago and where I've been for the better part of this 4 year journey.  Knowing that it would be a while before we got the call.  I was for the most part content. Or maybe a better word was prepared for the long wait.  Well, I've thrown that out the window and I need it back.  There are families that have been waiting far longer than us.  They seem to do it with such grace.     

If you find my grace, can you send it back?

Cause my wait is just plain ugly right now.

Okay, enough whining.  I'll leave you with a side by side of the first picture we got of our boy to the latest.  My oh my.