Monday, May 1, 2017

Love Hard

Hey friends.   So much has happened in the past 5 weeks.  Our breath knocked out of us in joy and in pain. High moments and very low moments.   

To me, MOWA approval was like the equivalent of my water breaking after a 4.5 year long pregnancy.   I was finally laboring and had a scheduled c-section date(court).  This is when you normally take custody of your child and begin the process of birth certificate, passport, and visa.   Days later you board a plane and bring your child home.  The day before we were scheduled to leave, the Ethiopian government issued a suspension of all adoptions.  After receiving the news, I went to my car and broke down.  

My c-section had been cancelled.   

We had no idea what was going to happen.  Our agency left it up to us whether to travel or stay home.  It wasn't even an option...I needed to be with my son more than ever.   

A few days later Josh and I were in Ethiopia, walking up the stairs to meet our son.  I have never been more nervous.   We found him in a room behind a table playing with his ball.   He was as beautiful as I had dreamed.  I knew in an instant he was going to come home.  It didn't matter what we had to do.  He must come home.  

As many of you know we passed court so Townes is officially our son.  The Ethiopian government still refuses to sign our exit letter so we can not take him out of the country.  I am still here.  I am missing my girls something fierce.   I do not know what to do.  We have no idea how long this will take.  Days, weeks, months.  I won't let myself go to years.  I just can't.   

This is by far the hardest thing I have done.  Your prayers are the balm to my hurting momma soul.   I have deeply fallen in love with Ethiopia.   The country, who's government is holding my son captive, is the same country that I am finding my refuge.   These people.  They are the most beautiful people I have ever met.  For many, every day is a struggle.  But yet they always smile.  They walk down the road hand in hand.  Arm in arm.  The children, who do not have a mother or father, give off more radiance than I have ever seen.  Beautiful people.  I can see how much God loves them.  I feel it.  They remain faithful while staring in the face of hunger and pain.   I want their kind of faith.  It's far more than mine.  

I am taking every day here to learn more.  To be better.  To love harder.  

Continue to pray.  I love you.  My village is something awesome.